Forefeeling

You’re new. The feelings are the same.

Refined a bit but easy to remember.

I didn’t think they’d come to me again,

But here they are. I sense them, warm and tender.

It’s been a lot. I seemed to have forgotten

That bright internal light that used to shine in me.

The words I wrote, the songs I sang – I got them

Locked in a chest and threw away the key.

Why did I? Well, my love was gone,

The one I loved had chosen other road.

We’re kinda friends but all the deeds are done,

We hardly talk and all I have are loads

Of memories. That’s fine. I never needed more.

I turned the page, I closed the book, and it was over.

Or so I thought. I didn’t want to go there

And recollect the things behind the closed door.

I kept them as they were. They turned to memories themselves.

I watched them from afar and thought, “Now, that’s a funny picture”.

Once vivid, living, vibrant – changed into some empty shells,

Just no more meaningful than useless hollow scriptures.

My life was quiet since. I followed my path

And honestly believed that the forgotten past

Will never be recalled. I learned to gain control

Over my feelings, so my soul was calm and cold.

I watched. I estimated. I evaluated.

My mind assumed control over my heart.

So many things that could have really happened

Were just rejected at the very early start.

Then, I met you. You were so different.

Unlike just any other that I ever saw.

There were stark contrasts and some mysteries,

There was a spark. I wanted to know more.

What I discovered was a pure and lovely soul,

A creature delicate and kind, sincere and open-hearted.

Creative, smart, so trustful, and “alone in the world”,

Emotional and sensible at once. I simply was enchanted.

You have ignited light inside of me,

The same old fire that I used to carry

Within my heart. It’s new and still the way it’s been.

I hope that this time it’s come to stay there.

I still remember how I told you about that.

That moment’s gonna stay with me forever.

Should there happen times when I’ll be feeling sad,

I’ll just recall your smile – the happiest one ever.

I have some hopes in my heart for now.

I have a feeling that we’ll be all right.

Thank you, my dear, that – don’t know how –

You have brought back my glowing lovelight.

28.12.15